PC(USA) - Presbyterian Peacemaking Program - Resources for Families in a Time of War




	Resources for Families in a Time of War Download this resource Family life is structured to provide physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual nurture to its members ... Relationships — their character, quality, and purpose — are absolutely central to the very nature of family. From the standpoint of faith, we have said that the way we relate to one another must be identified as the quintessential spiritual discipline of family life. — From Family, The Forming Center by Marjorie J. Thompson (Nashville: Upper Room, 1996), pp. 58-59. News about the war in Iraq surrounds all of us. Sometimes we are unaware of the messages that our family members might be receiving. Children may hear bits and pieces of the news as it fills the background noise of the living room. Young people may learn historical and political facts at school and see news flashes of human rights violations on the Internet. Adults may read selected articles from the newspaper and hear snippets presented during morning news shows. But where do these family members talk about what they hear? The following tools may help your family talk together about the events occurring in Iraq.


	Ideas to Aid Conversation The response of children and young people will vary based on age, personality style, what they have seen and heard, and their connection to the events. Listen to the questions and comments of children and young people respond in appropriate ways. Let their words guide the direction of the conversation to avoid giving them information for which they are not ready. Pay attention, also, to behavior. Give them opportunities to express what they need. Talk about God's love. Reassure children and young people that God continues to love all of God's children when things happen that make God sad. Keep lines of communication open but do not say things that you might not believe. Providing a pat answer is not always as helpful as talking through it together. Be honest but don't impose your own fears on them. They will eventually hear the truth from others and not getting it right from you can cause mistrust. Share feelings in a supportive and sensitive way. Although war and its effects may be frightening, it is more frightening to think that no one is willing to talk about it. By sharing the feelings associated with it, you can also help children and young people learn to deal with those feelings. Pray together. Using simple prayers — simply talking to God — give each family member a chance to share feelings and emotions with God. Children or young people may also choose to talk to God by writing a letter. Use creative outlets to help children and young people process their feelings. Writing, drawing, using puppets or books might help them express themselves. Words do not always come easily when talking about war and its effects. Do something for others. Help children and young people find a way to take action. Write a letter to people touched by the war, send money to aid victims, gather needed supplies for those directly affected. Let the children and young people determine the course of action they choose to take.



	Activities Form a Support Group with Another Family Connect with other families and join together in activities that help you talk about feelings and respond to the events of the war. Make a Book Create a book with multiple pages to describe the situation, your vision for peace, and the action you choose to take. Begin with a book about the events and add feelings as you've had a chance to talk about them. Family members may be willing to work on different parts. Create a Family Shield Make a symbol of the family with one section representing each member. Who are we? What is important to us? How will we work toward peace? Plant Living Flowers and Plants Beautify God's earth while remembering those who have given their life and those whose lives have been taken. Remember that life comes out of death. Together, care for what has been planted. Light a Candle To remember and pray for those whose lives have been greatly affected by war, light a candle and ask each family member to take a moment to silently think about what has happened. Ask each family member to think about the people or persons. Invite each person to finish the sentence, "When I think about [people or person] I feel ... Worship Coming together in community with the people of God and joining together to hear and respond to God's Word can have a great impact on our relationships with one another and in our response to issues before us.



	Prayers Talk not only to each other, but also with God using some of these prayer suggestions: Led Prayer Offer a prayer while everyone else listens and prays silently. Popcorn Prayer Ask one family member to begin the prayer. Following the opening, allow a time for the other family members to pray. Close when it seems that everyone has been able to participate. One Word In a circle, go around offering ONE-word prayers of praise or requests. Squeeze Prayer Pray as a family, moving around the circle. When your hand is squeezed, pray silently or aloud and then squeeze the next person's hand. Left/Right Pray silently or aloud for the person on your left and on your right. Bidding Prayer The leader asks for prayers on specific requests, leaving time for each person to pray in silence. Unison Prayer Read a pre-written prayer together as a family. Highlight Write out or copy a prayer. Highlight different parts for family members to read. Song Sing a well-known song together (i.e. Kum Ba Yah, They'll Know We Are Christians) and offer a prayer between verses. Thank You Offer prayers of thanks around the group. Open Eyes Offer silent prayers for those in your family as you look at each person. Hand Prayer Use your hand to remind you of those we need to pray for: Thumb: Ourselves Pointer: Those who point us to God Middle: Leaders in our community or world Ring: Family, loved ones Pinkie: Children, people of Iraq



	Sentence Starters When I see bad things happening, I want to ask God ... When I lay in bed at night, I worry about ... When I think about war, I feel ... When I think about the people of Iraq, I feel ... When I talk to God ... God is ... Prayer is ... The Bible helps me ... God loves me because ... When people die ... I am thankful for ... I wish ... I wonder if ... When I see a fight, I ... When I see the news on T.V., I ... I love my family because ... I wish we could talk about ... I've always wanted to know ... Heaven is ... When I think about Jesus, I ... My biggest fear is ... I am happiest when I am ... My favorite day would be ... I feel angry when ... If I could, I would ...


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